Mother Says: When to call 911, especially on the road...

...and other things I said I'd get back to but didn't At least not yet. Did I say later this week? I meant later this month. Or maybe this year. I forget. And that's the trouble, isn't it? OK, it's time to catch up, so here goes...

Have you been enjoying the goofy 911 call stories lately, for things like misbehavior in pets, children or fast food employees? In case you've missed any, here's an LA Times piece that has a pretty extensive list: L.A. Unleashed (but it's only fair to warn you that the video shows some other cute kitty playing with string, not the actual emergency cat). These nutty folks may be hilarious, and we're all about a good laugh, but we also can see how victims of actual emergencies who are waiting on hold or getting busy signals might not be so amused. In fact, they could end up dead. Not funny.

Seriously, the official Vermont 9-1-1 website has instructions for what to do if you get a busy signal: You should contact your emergency service provider using their 7-digit telephone number. That is pathetic. So let's review our 911 guidelines, shall we? Here's the scoop from the same State of Vermont website FAQs:

When should a caller use 9-1-1?

A person should only call 9-1-1 when there is an emergency that requires immediate action to save a life, to report a fire, or to stop a crime. For non-emergencies the public should call the telephone number for police, fire and EMS in the white pages of their local phone book.

That's pretty clear, but leaves us in a bit of a dilemma when we need help that doesn't meet 911 standards. How many of us always have a phone book handy, especially in the car? I suppose there's a way to get directory assistance but am not sure what it is any more, are you? Should we program our local and maybe state police non-emergency numbers into our cell phones? Couldn't hurt. Should we join AAA (my personal favorite) or some other fine auto club, or buy a car with OnStar or Sync? Those are all good ideas. And many of us have friends and family standing by, as we are for them. So I want you to go ahead and think about alternatives for situations that can better be handled without 911, like minor accidents or breakdowns on the road. Because we absolutely do not want to distract emergency personnel from meeting more critical needs, now do we? Of course not!

That said, however, I have it on good authority that the police would rather have you call 911 for these kinds of non-emergency crises when you really don't have a better option. They don't want you to create an emergency where there wasn't one, say by freezing to death at the side of the road or hitching a ride with a psycho. And by the way, I'd say that road rage definitely qualifies under saving a life.

When you call, if you do it from your cell phone, be prepared to tell the operator where you are, with specific road signs, mile markers, landmarks or an address if you know it. Cell phones do not transmit precise location information to the 911 center the way your traditional landline does at home. And VoIP is another whole kettle of fish, that doesn't normally apply on the road so I'm going to pass on that discussion, but if you're using a VoIP service be sure to check with your provider to make sure you're set up properly to interact with the 911 system.

OK, let's review:

• Have yourself a hearty laugh over those crazy inappropriate 911 callers, and don't be one of them.
• Call 911 to save a life, report a fire or stop a crime.
• If you're calling from your cell, know and be prepared to describe where you are.
  
• Use alternative methods, like the police non-emergency number, an auto service or a helpful friend or family member, for crises that are not emergencies.
• Go ahead and call 911 when you don't have any other safe options.

Got it? I know a complete list of possible misadventures with specific instructions would be better, but you're going to have to use your judgment here. Mother R trusts you completely.

And yes, I know I also promised more on alternatives to sending all our gas money to the grubby folks in OPEC, but we've had enough for today, haven't we? What do you say we postpone that until next week, when we've completed and recovered from our New Year celebrations? I am seriously considering a resolution to become more disciplined and less forgetful about blogging on the many happy, safe and healthy driving issues that remain unexplored. So stay tuned.

And Happy New Year!