Hurray! Mother's a Finalist!!

Well, technically I guess it would be more accurate to say that Riders on the Road: How to Laugh More and Rage Less with The Rider Method is a finalist, in Dan Poynter's Global eBook Awards (we're way at the bottom of the page under Travel). Mother is only the humble author. And if Mother Rider, the self-appointed smarty-pants queen of salubrious driving instruction can’t toot her own horn (hahaha), then I would like to know who can. No, don’t tell me, I’m going to do it anyway. Oh sure, I suppose it would make more sense to wait until tomorrow to find out if I'm actually a winner, but where's the fun in that? I'm just happy to appreciate (and brag about) being a Finalist right now. For the second time! Have I mentioned that last year I was a Finalist in the 2010 International Book Awards (Humor), and that in 2009 it was the Readers Favorite Bronze Award (Humor)? Well, I should have.

Hey, this may just be the inspiration I need to get over my long lazy streak, I mean sabbatical, and get back to work pestering and entertaining you all with lectures and stories about our more dangerous and hilarious driving habits.

In fact, thanks to an amazing illustrated email from my friend Tom, I'm prepared to start today, with this crazy true story:

Now THAT'S Drunk!!!!!

THE DEFINITION OF DUI...

Now here's a hard core drinker and one tough Dodge truck.The driver hit and sheared off the light post, and then kept driving about 2 miles to a bar, where he stopped for more beer!

How impaired do you have to be to NOT notice that you are carrying a stop light? (I wonder if the light was green?) The truck was towed about 2.5 miles to the towing yard, with the light still pinched between the tow hooks and the bumper bent around it. It took several good hard pulls with a backhoe to get the pole free.

Now that's what you call drunk driving!

"Life's tough... It's even tougher if you're stupid."

John Wayne

No word on the drunk, who probably still has a headache.

DO NOT DRIVE when you are this drunk. In fact, DO NOT DRIVE when you are drunk at all. Mother's always glad for the opportunity to end with a commandment. Thanks, Tom!

And thank you all for your kind attention. It's great to be back!