Engineering for very adults

So what do we of a certain age prefer to be called, and just what age is that anyway? Most folks I know who could be described as, uh, mature, object to many if not all of the usual labels, like senior, elderly or just plain old. And of course we're talking about a pretty wide age range here, from 50+ to 100 or more. Shouldn't we be entitled to more than one word? And if so, who gets which one and where do we draw the line(s)? I suppose we could just add one more very for each decade after 50, but that starts to add up after a while. Dare we defy AARP and start a bit later than 50? I wouldn't. After all, it's a fine organization that offers an outstanding driver safety program along with its many other benefits, and now that I'm in I wouldn't want to be booted out, even for a couple of years.

Why don't we turn this issue over to the professionals and consult Dictionary.com? Good idea. Here's what they have to say in the form of Usage Notes for old and elder:

Usage Note: Old is the bluntest of the adjectives most commonly used in referring to advanced or advancing age. It generally suggests at least a degree of age-related infirmity, and for that reason it is often avoided in formal or polite speech. Many prefer elderly as a more neutral and respectful term, but it too can suggest frailty, especially in reference to individuals as opposed to a group or population. And while senior enjoys wide usage as both a noun and adjective in many civic or social contexts, it is often considered unpleasantly euphemistic in a phrase such as the senior couple living next door. · As a comparative form, older would logically seem to indicate greater age than old. Except when a direct comparison is being made, however, the opposite is generally true. The older man in the tweed jacket suggests a somewhat younger or more vigorous man than if one substitutes old or elderly. Where old expresses an absolute, an arrival at old age, older takes a more relative view of aging as a continuum—older, but not yet old. As such, older is more than just a euphemism for the blunter old, offering as it does a more precise term for someone between middle and advanced age. And unlike elderly, older does not particularly suggest frailness or infirmity, making it the natural choice in many situations.

The adjective elder is not a synonym for elderly. In comparisons between two persons, elder means "older" but not necessarily "old". In other contexts elder does denote relatively advanced age but with the added component of respect for a person's achievement, as in an elder statesman. If age alone is to be expressed, one should use older or elderly rather than elder.

But I digress. Are you wondering when (or if!) I'll actually get to the engineering topic? OK, here we go. Remember how I mentioned AARP's many benefits? Well, here's another one: interesting news that relates to driving for old folks, or whatever you want to call us. I learned in my AARP Bulletin recently that Ford and Nissan have created special suits that mimic some common effects of aging, like a chubbier middle, arthritic stiffness, balance difficulty and failing eyesight. Design engineers wear these outfits to help them relate to what driving with these issues feels like and create modifications that can help. Thank you automakers! And thank you AARP!!

Sunday Morning Car Cartoon

I ask you, what isn't fun about getting to DIA? Everything except the amusing stories and cartoons? Right! Here's a DIA chuckle from one of my favorite Funny Times cartoonists...

Because you can't have too much teen driver safety

In fact, I'd say you can't have too much driving safety of any kind. That's why we're all about salubriety around here.

So parents, I am happy to report that there is more support out there for your efforts to keep your teens safe on the road. Thanks to the Boston Globe, I've discovered a program that's designed to recruit everyone on the road to join your spy network. It's called Steer Straight, and works by way of bumper stickers like the ones we often see on the back of trucks, with a toll-free number fellow motorists can call to report poor (or excellent!) driving behavior. Reports are emailed to the teen driver's parents who can follow up with reward, punishment or discussion as they see fit. Like the GPS systems, Steer Straight encourages teens to focus on their safe driving habits, and it works because there's just no incentive like knowing that you're being watched. Check it out at www.steerstraight.com.

And you kids, don't feel bad that your parents are snooping on you. Remember that we only do it because we like you alive and well and want you to stay that way. Salubrious driving habits are fun. Really!

Medical road rage? Are they lost?

No kidding, there was an article in the Sunday Boston Globe about doctors who are displaying what they call medical (or healthcare) road rage in the operating room. Now, violent behavior anywhere in the hospital, never mind around patients with sharp instruments, is certainly alarming and I applaud any and all efforts by the hospitals to implement a policy of civility and respect. In fact, I'm all in favor of civility and respect everywhere, including on the road.

But let's back up a minute here. Road rage, if we can trust dictionary.com (and I believe we can) is a fit of violent anger by the driver of an automobile, especially one directed toward and endangering other motorists or pedestrians. Are these crazy physicians driving cars in the operating room and going after motorists or pedestrians? No! They're throwing scissors and going after nurses or patients. That is not the same thing. Do you worry about medical professionals who can't tell the difference between the road and the operating room? Or the car and the scissors? So do I.

OK, I'll admit that you could have medical road rage in the ambulance, but that is it. And I will further admit that the healthcare environment can be plenty stressful and they are quite entitled to their own catchy definition of the resulting rage, but it has nothing to do with the road. When you're in the hospital or the medical office building, please leave the road out of it and call it what it is: medical rage or OR rage or something like that but more creative. Hey, we wouldn't mind sharing so much if it made any sense, but it doesn't, so get your own word, will ya?

That said, the Rider Method is surprisingly effective against irrational anger wherever you are, and you doctors are quite welcome to use it to banish rage of any kind, including road, medical or whatever you want to call it. You're welcome.

Don't forget your insurance company

Have you been saving gas dollars by making smarter commuting choices and generally driving less? If you have, Mother Rider has some smarty pants motherly advice for you today.

Driving less can save more than gas money and irritating hours stuck in traffic. Since your auto insurance rates are normally based on your commuting habits and total miles driven in a year, fewer miles can mean lower insurance premiums. Remember to report any changes to your insurance company first thing. Hey, why leave the extra money in their pockets when it should be in yours? At least until it's time for your next trip to the gas station again.

Have I issued a commandment lately?

I haven't, have I? Well, it's about time I did! Here you go...

DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE

And don't do it while riding your bicycle either. In fact, I'm going to include you pedestrians, too, as well as the rollerbladers and the skateboarders. Did I miss anybody?

First, I have to admit this wasn't my idea. To be honest, I'm so lame it would never have crossed my mind to worry about this problem. But thanks to The Week, NPR, the American College of Emergency Physicians and my friend Marcia, I am on it! Here's what I've learned so far:

• A recent survey found that 18% of cell phone users type text messages while driving
• There is mounting evidence that this behavior leads to accidents and fatalities
• The ER doc who was interviewed on NPR treated a woman who stumbled over the curb into the path of an oncoming car, and the driver who hit a light pole trying to avoid her as he chatted on his cell phone. And that's not all. The text injured keep on coming at the rate of about one per week.
  
• The American College of Emergency Physicians has issued an alert because they are seeing an alarming increase in text related injuries, every day in big cities like Chicago.
• Injuries to the nose, mouth, chin and eyes seem to be the most common, because texters tend to fall flat on their faces. Many are fairly minor, but some are more serious, even fatal. For example, there is an email making the rounds called Don't Text and Drive, that includes hideously graphic photographs of what happened to a Brazilian driver who was allegedly texting or chatting on his cell phone instead of watching out for that truck. Who knows if that was really the cause or not, but who cares? It could have been! The photos are much too gruesome for a cheery blog like this, but if you're one of those visual learners who can handle the blood and guts, or just plain curious, you can find them on snopes.
• So if you must text and you must also drive or walk or whatever, what can you do? You can stop. Then send your text or have your chat. Then you can go. Simple, eh?
  

Even thinking about that email is too creepy for this normally cheery website so let's agree that we will NOT text and drive, because I do NOT want to see any more photos like that EVER. And neither do you. Or your family. Trust me. OK?

OK! Thank you very much.